Oscar would like to wish you a happy birthday. The fact that it's not your birthday? Oscar is not concerned. Enjoy yourself, and celebrate. Oscar hopes that you can feel half as fabulous as he looks. "Seize the day" has long been Oscar's motto, and he suggests it as your own. Life is a straw; suck it.(Transcribed by Carl)
this is one cat who is not laughing out loud. not only can i have cheeseburger whenever the fuck i want, i know it is not spelled with a z. in my free time, i read such things as "essential lawyering skills," and the thesaurus. i am oscar. i defy internet captions.
"Ah yes, I may be quite svelte, exceedingly dashing, and extraordinarily debonair, and - oh, no! I don't think my nose could POSSIBLY get more aquiline and well-suited to my features - HOWEVER...if someone doesn't give me a freshness-preserving juice carton plastic thingie to play with soon...Lizz and Giselle will NEVER see their Consumuer Reports AGAAAINNN!!!"